the dreaded 2AM question
It’s 2AM.
I know because if I blink I’m going to wake up two days from now.
But I don’t want to miss anything.
We’re sitting in the bar talking about ALL THE WRITING THINGS.
It’s the last night of the conference.
I’ve just spent a week hanging out with the most incredible group of talented writers.
I’m high as a kite on all the creative energy. Saturated and dripping with ideas.
Then it happens.
That moment at the end of a conference I dread.
Someone asks, “Don’t you think it would be AH-MAY-ZING if we started a critique group?”
Suddenly everyone is exchanging emails, deciding when to meet, how many pages to exchange, and what clever name they should call the Facebook group.
And I’m over in the corner shouting, “No! Don’t do it! Don’t go into the light Carol Anne! There are horrible demons in there that want to suck your brains out!”
Look, I get it.
Writing is a lonely pursuit.
Not only because you do it by yourself, but people who aren’t writers are clueless about what you’re doing and going through.
For many writers, critique groups are the backbone of the writing experience. Their life’s blood, the reason they keep writing week after week, month after month. If they didn’t have to get pages to their group, they wouldn’t write.
Critique groups fill a void of loneliness.
They’re the promise of community and the sense of belonging we all crave.
They can also be that thing that destroys a writer faster and more effectively than Thanos snapping his fingers at the end of Avengers Infinity War.
I see this damage up close and personal.
One client, who barely escaped a critique group with her self-confidence intact, told me, “I need help nursing my poor novelist soul back to health.”
I don’t want that for anyone.
Three common ways critique groups can undermine your success as a writer:
#1 Group Praise Parade
The praise parade is what happens when no one wants to hurt anyone’s feelings. Every meeting is a love fest of validation and ego boosting. It’s great for the ego. Not useful for the writing. At best, it will not help you grow as a writer. At worst, it will delude you into believing your work is better than it really is. You will not be emotionally prepared for professional feedback.
#2 Constant Criticism
Usually a well-meaning writer who wants to make sure they’re giving “serious” feedback. They believe in calling attention to everything that they feel is wrong with your writing. Including every bit of minutia, like misplaced punctuation (even if it’s a rough draft). I’ve worked with writers who have developed extreme cases of perfectionism and self-doubt after being in groups like this.
#3 Limited view and attention
There’s a limited amount of time to look at a limited number of pages per group member. Consequently, you’re often only looking at a portion of your entire work. You’re also required to spend time and attention on the work of other members. It can take years to get through your entire novel. So you’re never getting a consecutive reading of your novel beginning to end.
Most critique groups are not intentionally unhelpful.
They’re inexperienced writers giving terrible well-intentioned advice to other inexperienced writers.
They don’t have a deep understanding of how story mechanics work. They can’t tell you how to get emotion on the page or problem solve why you keep getting stuck at 25K words.
You may have an amazing critique group of your best friends that you love meeting with regularly. That’s great.
But ask yourself, are they helping me become a better writer?
If the answer is no, then consider making the group a social club designed for accountability, companionship, and emotional support, instead of critiquing.
Community, friendship, and margaritas are all excellent reasons for forming a group of writing buddies.
You’re going to them to pick you up off the floor someday when 1 star reviews pile up, sales don’t happen, and you need a shoulder to cry on.
When it comes to your writing, be absolutely certain it (and you!) is being handled with care.
If that’s not happening in your critique group, or your being damaged, then run away. Fast. From a safe distance, consider bringing in a professional.
Hello!
My name is Jocelyn.
Story warrior, book lover, day dreamer, gardener, and creative. I help serious writers roll up their sleeves, get their novel ready for publishing, and reach readers. When I’m not elbow-deep in the story trenches, I’m outside world-building in my garden and battling weeds with my three criminal mastermind cats.
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